San Juan 20:19-31
Dr. Gabriela Gutierrez is a clinical oncology therapist at Loma Linda University Cancer Center. Talking about cancer she said, “Cancer is like an earthquake with many aftershocks, just because the big one is out of the way does not mean the ripples are gone.”
“Unfortunately, she continues saying, fear is part of the journey. It is perfectly normal that you are feeling this way. In fact, fear means that you care about your life — that you do have hope for the life ahead of you.”
Fear and doubt are part of human nature specially when someone receives the news of having cancer. However, fear and doubt have been also part of great spiritual discoveries. Mary and Joseph were engaged and before they consumed their marriage, she found out she was pregnant. Mary was afraid and Joseph doubted her faithfulness. Amid fear and doubts, they discovered that God was leading this event. That they were not alone.
Abraham, the one we know as the father of faith, also feared and had doubts. When he and Sarah his wife entered Egypt, he asked Sarah to lie because he was afraid that Pharaoh was going to kill him in Egypt; he also doubted God when God promised him a son, instead, he accepted Sarah’s idea better.
Mary Magdalene one of Jesus’ followers, who some call her the first female apostle. When she found the empty tomb she thought someone had stole Jesus’ body; when Jesus spoke to her she thought Jesus was the gardener and according to the Gospel of Mark 16:6-8 she and the other women were afraid. “Don’t be alarmed,” the angel said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There, you will see him, just as he told you.” Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb, and the Gospel of Mark says, “They said nothing to anyone because they were afraid.”
Doubt and fear are not always signing of lack of faith as many believe. They are just declaration of our limited sight and knowledge. To doubt is to accept that there are a lot of thing that we do not understand. Fear is the declaration of our limited strength; it is the acceptance that there are bigger forces than ours and when those forces threaten our existence, we need help to fight against them. fear and doubt can be the way Jesus uses to give us a great revelation; it can be an instrument to know Jesus in a profound and personal way. That is what happened to Thomas.
Today, I am talking about fear and doubt because we are honoring Breast Cancer Awareness Sunday and all men and women suffering any form of cancer. Statistics says that for every 8 women in the U.S. 1 will be diagnosed with breast cancer during her lifetime. That is frighten not only for women but for everyone, because cancer touches the whole family. If this has happened to you, or if this is happening to you, or you believe it might happen, remember it is ok to be afraid, it is ok to have doubts.
Expressing faith and confidence can be difficult when we are struggling with cancer. There is a song many of us learned when we were children, “Jesus loves me! This I know, For the Bible tells me so.” I like it because is a simple expression of faith. But we must confess, there are events in our life -and cancer is one of them- when we need Jesus to be a little more specific and personal. More visible I would say. Last Sunday we read about Moses asking God to show him his way, and sometimes we, as Moses need the same.
At the beginning of the service we read the names of persons suffering cancer. Maybe those who are following us on Facebook are suffering, or know of someone suffering cancer and you are afraid and have some doubts. That is ok. Experts say that doubt and fear can be healthy. This may sound ironic when a person is going thru cancer. However, it can be healthy when it puts the person in a defensive mode; when forces us to reach out for help. The question is: When we are afraid, when we have doubts, What do we do with them? Where are we bringing them? Do we bring them among those who are waiting and looking for answers and strength?
Bring your doubts to the Lord, speak them out to him, he will not be offended, he is our loving father. Do you remember when your children used to ask you some tough questions when they were little. Dad, or mom, who made God? Mom or dad how do planes fly? Dad, Mom, how deep is the ocean? Are aliens real? And when you tried to answer those questions, good conversations emerged. I don’t know about you, but for me, I enjoyed when my kids did that; to me that was proof that my kids were growing up and that they were hungry for knowledge.
I believed God feels the same. If we bring all our doubts and fears to him, does not mean we are doubting him, in the contrary, we are telling him that we do not know what is happening or why is happening to us; that we do not know what will happen to our family and that we are afraid, and in need of help.
When we are afraid, when we have doubts, where are we bringing them? Thomas sets a good example for us. He, as well as the other disciples was afraid; he doubted when the other disciples told him Jesus is alive.
In those moments of doubts and fear, Thomas did not separate himself from the other brothers and sisters like those in the road to Emmaus did. He joined the group of Jesus’ followers. He looked for their support and with them, he had an encounter with the risen Christ and out of his fear and doubts came one of the most remarkable declarations in the New Testament, “My Lord and my God.” What a great spiritual discovery!
If cancer is threatening your life, bring your questions, your fear and doubts to Jesus, get closer to Him; look for the support of your brothers and sisters, do not isolate yourself, do not fight this fight by yourself, God’s strength is available, your family, your church is here to help and as it happened with Thomas your relationship with your creator can become deeper and personal.
Now, listened to Isaiah 43:1, “But now, -Isaiah says O Jacob- you can say your name, listen to the LORD who created you. O -again Isaiah says Israel- you can say your name, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.